Top 10 Anti-Love Songs

Love songs can be deceiving. We hear what sounds like a romantic ditty, but to quote Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, the song was actually written about a sandwich. Here are nine sweet-as-candy songs that aren’t actually what they seem (and one that is exactly what it seems). Let us know if we’ve missed any.

1. “Feels like Heaven,” Fiction Factory

This song is actually about how the end of a relationship feels like heaven. While the chorus sounds sugar sweet, lyrics like, “twisting the bones until they snap,” are not so romantic. Also, this song is not about Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups.

2. “I Can’t Stand Losing You,” The Police

Sting is obsessed, won’t stop calling and threatens suicide. See also: “Every Breath You Take.”


3. “Tiny Dancer,” Elton John.

Hold me closer, tiny dancer [Swoon]. Or maybe not. See: Is Tiny Dancer Really Elton’s Little John? It would be more romantic if it really were written about Tony Danza.


4. “Bron-Y-Aur Stomp,” Led Zeppelin.

Robert Plant is walking down “country lanes” smiling, singing love songs so glad…about his dog. Well, he was the finest dog he knew.


5. “P.Y.T,” Michael Jackson.

MJ wants to love you, pretty young thing. Creepy, yes?


6. “Love the One You’re With,” Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young.

Seemingly a great message, until you realize that Stephen Stills isn’t with the one he actually wants. This goes down in history as the greatest song ever written about settling.


7. “The One I Love,” R.E.M.

Michael Stipe calls this one “incredibly violent,” and given the lyrics this “simple prop” used to occupy Stipe’s time may or may not have been set on fire…

8. “Miss you Love,” Silverchair.

Absolutely dripping with sarcasm and angst. Remember, today he has no respect for you.


9. “Love Song,” Public Image Limited.

A love song brought to you by Johnny Rotten? Nah, the full title is “(This is not a) Love Song,” which he repeats over and over and over. To be fair, the song is not about love at all, but about commercialism.



10. “Love Stinks,” J. Geils Band

If you’re really feeling low about love this Valentine’s Day, the J. Geils Band will help you out. Or, if you prefer, Adam Sandler.